Sarah Meierdirks
What do you write?
I write popular fiction novels and plays!
Is there an author or artist who has most profoundly influenced your work?
When it comes to playwriting, probably Paula Vogel. But more importantly, and for my writing as a whole, my friends. We’ve shared our stories with each other since childhood (the good and the very, very bad), and I would not be the writer I am today without their encouragement, support, and advice.
Why did you choose Stonecoast for your MFA?
I get to develop my skills in both fiction and playwriting. Stonecoast not only allows students to explore multiple genres, but encourages it as well. That was something I wasn’t able to find at any other school and have loved about Stonecoast ever since I began.
What is your favorite Stonecoast memory?
Getting way too invested in trivia night at my first residency.
What do you hope to accomplish in the future?
I’d love to get one of my plays produced and act in it, kind of Lin Manuel Miranda style. And further down the line, I hope to publish the dystopian novel I’m working on.
If you could have written one book, story, or poem that already exists, which would you choose?
The Magnus Archives—a horror podcast written by Jonathon Sims.
Slaying the Dragon (Excerpt)
CHARACTERS
CLIFFORD HICKS JR. Male, 40s, a hunter and farmer who’s lived in the mountains of West Virginia his entire life. Speaks with a strong Appalachian accent. Very family-oriented. An honest man.
MELNOR ARSIMEON. Male, 120s, the royal mage to King Humphrey, ruler of Sarcadia and the Seven Great Isles. Dressed in cliché magician garb.
SETTING
The Royal Mage’s Arcane Library in Sarcadia.
SYNOPSIS
After falling through a portal into a medieval fantasy land, Clifford is hired by a mage to slay a dragon in return for safe passage home. But the mage might have other plans in store…
(AT RISE: The interior of Melnor Arsimeon’s arcane library. Stacks of books lie around. MELNOR ARSIMEON is dozing off in a nice chair centerstage. A window faces downstage, through which the audience can see rolling fields, a small town, and a grand castle. The sun is high in the sky. CLIFFORD enters, holding a rope over his shoulder and dragging something heavy attached to the other end.)
CLIFFORD
Mr. Mage! (To himself) Darn bleeding lizard’s boutta give me another hernia. Mr. Mage!!
(Melnor starts awake. Clifford stops to catch his breath.)
MELNOR
Sakes alive, Clifford, why must you disturb me so soon after your departure? I am verily busy.
CLIFFORD (still catching his breath)
Mr.… Mr. Mage—
MELNOR
How I do wish you’d drop that silly name.
CLIFFORD
I’m… I’m back…
MELNOR
And for what? If you require further instruction I have no more to offer. Slay the dragon. That is all. Now, be off.
CLIFFORD
But I done it, sir.
MELNOR
You… did?
CLIFFORD
Sure did.
MELNOR
With such haste? It has not been but—
(Melnor rushes to the window to look at the sun.)
—a quarter of an hour!
CLIFFORD
Even brought the feller back fer ya.
MELNOR
Brought the…
(Melnor moves to get a better look at what’s sitting offstage, attached to the rope.)
By the stars and planets above! Why would you bring the beast in here?!
CLIFFORD
Fer evidence?
MELNOR
A felled dragon in the town square is just as proper evidence as a felled dragon in my library.
CLIFFORD
I can put him back if—
MELNOR
Nay! Nay, that shan’t be necessary. (Beat.) Dear heavens, the beast’s blood has drenched the carpet.
CLIFFORD
That what the silver juice was?
MELNOR
Did you… strip its abdomen of scales?
CLIFFORD
No, sir, Mr. Mage. Ain’t do nothin’ but put some lead in him. Took a nasty fall into a building fulla rocks though.
MELNOR (aghast)
The arcane quarry repository?
CLIFFORD
Musta been.
MELNOR
Oh, dear heavens.
(The rope twitches.)
Pardon, are you certain this beast is fully… slain?
CLIFFORD
Ain’t no critter get past Cliff Hicks Jr. ‘less he wants ‘em to.
(The rope twitches again.)
Most of them critters get twitchy after they’re gone. My old man used to say they’s just a‑quivering as God judges their sins.
(Clifford wanders further into the room. Melnor begins to look at the slain dragon more closely.)
Did I do something wrong, sir?
MELNOR
I only want to ensure you have been thorough.
CLIFFORD
Quick and thorough. Just like my pappy taught me.
(Melnor closes his eyes, wiggles his arms in the dragon’s directions, and mutters under his breath. This goes on for a moment.)
MELNOR
Aha!
(A bullet appears in his hand with a flash of light.)
CLIFFORD
Well, I’ll be!
MELNOR
So this must have dealt the final blow.
CLIFFORD
Prolly five more up in there too. The feller’s a strong one, didn’t go down easy. I was afeared I might run out of ammo.
MELNOR
Ammo… and what magic was used to plant these in the beast?
CLIFFORD
No magics or tricks, Mr. Mage. Just this here rifle gun.
(He holds it up. Melnor looks at it, fascinated.)
I reckoned he was about like a big deer, and I done in plenty of them before. Sure was a piece of work, though. Kept a‑hollerin’ at me an’ trying to eat the townsfolk.
MELNOR
The youngling dragons do tend to be feistier.
CLIFFORD
A young’n?! Gee, I wouldn’t wanna be starin’ down the barrel at this feller’s pappy then, if you know what I mean.
(He laughs. Melnor does not, still staring at the rifle.)
And, uh, speaking ‘bout young’ns, Mr. Mage, you better make that portal an’ get me on home ‘fore my son comes a‑lookin’ for me.
MELNOR
How about I make another proposal instead?
CLIFFORD
I… I’m already married, sir.
MELNOR
In all my 125 years I have never witnessed a hunter as powerful as yourself.
CLIFFORD
Gee thanks, Mr.—
MELNOR
The dragons have been ravaging our kingdom for over a decade now, and, me being the Royal Mage, His Majesty King Humphrey has made it my business to be rid of them. I’ve toiled for solutions day and night, even teased with the prospect of banishing them to another realm… yet nothing has worked quite so well as your…
CLIFFORD
Rifle gun.
MELNOR
Your rifle gun. Here I lay the proposal. Don’t return to your kingdom of West Virginia. Follow me to the palace, and I’ll insist His Majesty make you the Royal Hunter.
CLIFFORD
Gosh, that sounds like a mighty fine gig, but I oughta go. My wife’s makin’ meatloaf fer supper.
MELNOR
“Meatloaf…” Whatever your lady’s dish may be, the palace kitchens could provide tenfold. Tender unicorn steaks. With fairy rose trifle for dessert.
CLIFFORD
You’re awful kind, sir, but I ain’t never miss a family meal. I aim to set a good example fer my son.
MELNOR
Of course, of course. Foolish of me to ask. Perhaps before you go, however, you might honor me with knowing the secrets of your rifle gun?
CLIFFORD
The… secrets?
MELNOR
The magic that lies within. You understand it, do you not?
(End excerpt.)